Monday, April 26, 2010

Fear.

I spent yesterday in fear.

Fear because my daughter started throwing up, and I had no idea when it would stop.

Fear that because she was throwing up, I would be next. And then my husband. And then my son. Oh, please not my son.

Fear that not only was my baby sick, but she was the kind of sick that required a change of clothes for her and me (or my husband) every time she became sick. And possibly a carpet or couch cleaning, depending on where her sick happened.

It was an awful place to be.

But it didn't have to be that way.

Sure, my baby was sick, and for a mom, there's really nothing worse than watching your baby suffer.

But instead of living in the moment, consoling my daughter and embracing her needs, I ulcered my way through the day, worrying about when she'd puke next or when my son would catch it or when, if ever, the plague would leave my house.

The worst part was that not until late afternoon, hours after her spell had come and gone, I realized that not once had I prayed.

I was so consumed with how her illness affected ME that I failed to remember God's command, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6)

Wow, I sure screwed up that one.

I spent my entire Sunday with a pit in my stomach because I was too darn consumed with ME, and oh-baby-girl-please-forgive-me, but I should have been PRAYING over her, and better yet, THANKING GOD for her.

But today is new. And thanks be to God, she is better. And as of now, no one else has caught the bug. Whatdya know, all that worrying and ulcering and festering was only to my own detriment.

A fresh start.
My baby girl, bright-eyed and beautiful this morning.

How about you? How does Philippians 4:6 apply to your life today?

6 comments:

  1. Oh, girl. I do that too!! I HATE the feeling I get when I realize how much time/agony I've just wasted by not praying! But God is so full of grace, and our kiddos are so full of forgiveness.

    There is NOTHING worse that a baby throwing up. NOTHING. Soooooo glad she's feeling better.

    Harper, you are SO beautiful!!

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  2. Thanks Ali - what a great reminder, just when I needed it.
    Oh and by the way, concerning the puking...maybe you will think twice about squeezing her so hard next time (Friday's post - last sentence.) HA!

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  3. That verse applies to me every day. I am the worst worrier EVER. No seriously, Ever! I live in almost constant worry and I will tell you something - I hate it. I get myself convinced that a little bump on my Parker's head after a fall will turn into cancer. Or, I freak out if Drew doesn't let me know he got to work...oh now, he's on the road mangled somewhere.

    I hate this about myself, seriously, I don't know how to make it stop sometimes. It's really quite annoying.

    I memorized that verse a while ago and has become my mantra! I say it a lot, everyday, a lot, all the time. And yes, it does help.

    Bleh...one of these days this worry will just up and leave - and you bet I will have me a party!

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  4. Marla, Sweet girl Harper is still too innocent to realize when I'm being a big idiot. Bless her heart.

    Jill, I miss you! Come back and visit, please.

    Denise, Love you, girl. And I hate how satan uses our fears to preoccupy us from what's really important in life.

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  5. today or don't you mean everyday j/k lol. I think as moms we are planners. We have to be to make things happen. When things get a little otta wack we get scared. I think that comes from my insecurites. Thanks Beth Moore:) You are rocking mom! thanks for sharing xoxo

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  6. Jackie - LOVE you, friend!

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