Tuesday, August 18, 2009

In only one day . . .

. . . my new reality, as a mother of two, is setting in.

And I don't know how I like it.

Actually, I love it. I won't even begin to describe how it feels to love two other human beings as much as I do. I think I'll save that for another post. It's emotional, and I'm exhausted.

But within one day of meeting my daughter, I learned that my son, at home with my parents, was suffering a high fever. And an ugly cough.

Here I am, sitting helplessly in a hospital bed, doing what I can to recover while providing my tiny baby girl with her only physical nourishment, and my son is across town feeling like crap.

I hate it. I hate not being able to take care of them both simultaneously and equally. I hate the constant tension in my heart, pulling me to feed, swaddle, and nuzzle my newborn daughter while my son suffers without his mommy's comforting touch.

Breaks. My. Heart.

Being a mother-of-two has taken my heart to a whole new level of completeness. And it has taken my love for God to a whole new level of awestruck wonder. Seriously, did God really just expand my heart to make room for two babies? Indeed, He did.

He expanded it. Filled it up. And now I must lean on Him more than ever as I manage two sets of precious needs.


I wrote this post on Saturday, August 15th.
Tuesday update: Henry has croup, and he is on a steroid. The virus will run its course, and he should be fine as long as his temperature stays down. Thankfully he has little to no interest in his baby sister thus his interactions with her will be minimal.

7 comments:

  1. OK I did not need to start the morning crying. I cannot wait to be the mom of two as well. Love you and we will see you soon.

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  2. UGH, hate croup with a passion! Good thing is it usually seems to clear up quickly. Kaden's had it at least twice. Keep leaning on your Father to be filled...the heart tugs are difficult at times, but soon you'll be juggling like a pro!

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  3. Praying for all four of you!! You go home today!! Love this post. Especially the last sentence. :)

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  4. Praying for Henry to feel better. Isn't it wonderful that God can make our hearts bigger to love on all our kids! What an honor to be given such precious ones to care for! You are a wonderful mommy! Love you bunches!

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  5. Poor thing! I hope Henry feels better and you're doing well... HUGS!

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  6. I can't imagine having two, but God will give you all the strength you need to take care of two of them! Love you!

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