Monday, July 27, 2009

Best Week Ever.

If you are my friend on facebook (if you are not, you should be), you know that I am having a great week.

We have a lot of wonderful things going on, and each event and interaction reminds me of how blessed I am.

In an effort to slow down, reflect, and enjoy this delightful week, I will not be posting to the blog.

And in case you think it's all fun and games in the Hooper house, let me share with you a quick story that illustrates "reality" even amidst the best week ever.

Henry, our climber, decided to conquer the television stand. He's not quite tall enough to climb it without assistance, so he figured out how to drag his red chair up to the stand thus allowing him a crutch for climbing. As I watched him climb, I noticed some discoloration around the leg of his diaper. Sure enough, he had explosive diarrhea oozing from his diaper. As I pulled him off the stand, I soon realized the diarrhea was smeared across his red chair. Grainy, yellow-brown, liquid poop across his plush, comfy, favorite red chair.

Fortunately the chair is slipcovered, and it was about time to do laundry anyway.

But I'm not complaining. A bit of liquid poop isn't going to spoil our blessed week!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Baby August Update

Today I had my 36wk appointment, and I will be back at the doc's each week for the remainder of my pregnancy.

Nothing significant to report; my body has not made any "progress." My doc thinks the baby could be breech, but we will find out for sure next week because I will have an ultrasound. This is nothing to be concerned about especially considering I already have a c-section scheduled.

Baby's heartbeat is 138 which convinces my mom that it's a boy even though doc assures me that is only a myth.

Oh, and I lost three pounds since last week which is also nothing to be concerned about considering how much I've gained in the previous 35 weeks.

But I like saying it, so I'll say it again. I lost three pounds in a week. Even though you'd think I gained twenty if you saw my feet right now.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Non-Maternal Instincts

Originally posted in January, 2009

Nonmaternal Instinct


I had an epiphany this week.

Motherhood and pregnancy don't mix.

Ironic, dontcha think?

Ironic but oh-so-true.

Here are only a few reasons why motherhood and pregnancy don't mix:
  1. At the exact moment when my son is having a complete meltdown, I am also having a complete meltdown. Together we are crying and screaming, "da-da." Usually "da-da" isn't home, so we end up getting funny looks from the dog.
  2. Poopy diapers make for a LOT of gagging. At least once a day, I am a reflex away from puking all over my son.
  3. Constant hunger means that I am constantly nibbling on devouring my son's food. On the average day I consume a 1/2 box of goldfish, a cup of Cheerios, several packages of fruit snacks, a box of macaroni and cheese, a value-size Hershey's bar (not my son's, but if I pretend that it's my son's, I don't feel so guilty eating it), a couple of Nutri-Grain bars, loads of watermelon-flavored yogurt, animal crackers galore, a value-size Hershey's bar (What? My dad was raised in PA; it's in our blood), and enough cut-up fruit to feed my ever-expanding gut. And that's only what I eat off of my son's plate. That doesn't include the five "real" meals that I eat everyday. As I quickly resemble Violet Beauregarde after she eats the three-course meal chewing gum, my son is beginning to resemble the flytrap plant in Little Shop of Horrors ("feed me").
  4. It is not exactly safe to "watch" a child while falling asleep. Let's just say that I spend most of the day attempting to NOT fall asleep. I might have woken up to my son pulling down the blinds yesterday. I'm pretty sure that wasn't a dream (as evidenced by the blinds on my floor).
  5. My son has begun this thing where he hits me. Not in a mean way, just in a hey-I-know-how-to-make-noises-when-I-smack-my-hands-against-your-body kind of way. Pregnancy makes my chest tender. Combined with my son's new game, my chest is VERY tender.
Dear Lord of Creation,

I know how much you love irony (Abraham and Sarah, David and Goliath, The Book of Job), but motherhood and pregnancy? Really, God?

Okay, fine, joke's on me. But wouldn't it be cool if pregnancy turned moms into these super-human creatures, like unicorns, who could defeat the monsters under the bed while creating another little monster deep inside their bellies. Wait a minute? That's basically what I am doing. I am a super-hero to one baby (two if you count my husband, and yes, he does count) while miraculously creating another baby (yes, Lord, I know, that's your miracle, not mine. Shout-out to the Big Man).

Okay, fine, I get it.

I am super-human, and there ain't anything ironic about that! {wink}

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

That's my baby?!

It's been an entire year since these pictures were taken. I hardly remember those days.

Thank you, Jesus, for digital photography.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I am boy. Hear me roar.

Last week at story time, the kids were provided with materials to make finger paint masterpieces.

It was a lovely morning, perfect for an outdoor activity like this. And because Henry has become more interested in coloring lately, I knew he would thoroughly enjoy finger-painting.

And he did.

For about two minutes.

And then he spotted sticks on the ground. And crisp paper, bright paint, and his inner-artist took a backseat to dirt, mud, and destruction.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Have your people call my people.

Because I'm too busy chilin'.

*Baby August update: We have a c-section schedule for August 14th. Of course the baby could come on his/her own before then, but regardless, Baby August will be in our lives four weeks from today. In the meantime, we are savoring every possible moment with our sweet boy, Henry. He reminds us daily that life is much too fun and precious to be preoccupied with the future.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Non-Maternal Instincts

Nonmaternal Instinct

Inner-monologue at nine-months pregnant.

{Huffin' and puffin'} Now why did I come up here? I know I came up for something. Hmm, can't remember. Phew, I better sit down.

{Plops down on unmade bed} WHOA! Those are my feet? What happened to my feet? Why didn't anyone tell me?! I mean, where are my ankles? They're, they're, they're gone! I don't have ankles and my feet are huge. Like puffy huge. No. Those can't be my feet.

Gee, this bed is soft. Cozy. Pillows. Fluffy pillows. But it's only 10am. Ugh. Stupid insomnia. Stupid insomnia equals Ali and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Can't sleep now anyway. I need to pee. Didn't I just do that? Yeah, I went before I came upstairs. I wonder if I can talk my doctor into giving me a catheter for the next month. I need to talk to him about that. Better write that down.

Wait a sec, who's that? Me?! No. That can't be me. Darn it. Why'd I look in the mirror? I might be carrying this baby in the front, but apparently I'm also carrying one in the back. Dang, girl. No wonder my clothes don't fit anymore. Not even my maternity clothes. Bah.

Oh, baby powder, my best friend. Is that why I came up here? No, that wasn't it.

Now what was it? Ouch. Cranky. Stop. Ouch. Better sit down for this one. Stupid Braxton Hicks, you're such a tease.

Wait. Yuck. Gag. Why is my throat burning? Burning swords attacking my throat. Oh! That's it! I came up here for Pepcid. Love me some Pepcid. Yes, please, I need Pepcid!

{With Pepcid in hand, waddles back downstairs for glass of water}

NOOOOOO! What did I do? I dropped it. No! Dagnabbit. Now how am I going to pick that up? I can't bend down there and pick up that little pill.

Ah, forget it. I need ice cream.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Though I think they have different motives, these two boys enjoy a hideout.

Life must simply be better incognito.

*I realize these are not the best quality pictures. But they aren't too shabby considering I took them with Harry, my new iPhone 3GS (I know, I'd be jealous of me, too).

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Practically Green Vlog: Breathe

There will be no Practically Green Vlog today.

Instead, I breathe. And you should too.

Monday, July 13, 2009


To be in that boy's head . . . my, oh my.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Independence Day Highlights

What a contrast it is to look at the pictures from our Independence Day festivities compared to those of my sister's recent trip to Cambodia. To say that we are blessed to live in The United States of America is a terrible understatement.

I thank God for this amazing country.

*This final picture is the product of my photography-illiterate father attempting to take a picture while fireworks burn his eyes.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Non-Maternal Instincts

Nonmaternal Instinct

Originally posted in Janurary, 2009

My Husband, the Potato Chip Runner

Once again, this week's post doesn't quite fall under non-maternal. Or maybe it does. What do I know? I'm just some crazy pregnant lady. But I warn you, don't mess with the pregnant lady.

If you have ever been pregnant, or hormonal, or menstrual, or, well, just a girl, then you know what it's like to crave potato chips. I don't know any girl who doesn't like potato chips. And if you are a girl and you don't like them, then you are probably really a man.

So yesterday, around dinner time, I WANTED potato chips. And I wanted them NOW (imagine Fat Bastard as he looks at his fried chicken, "Get in my belly!" Except that I didn't have any potato chips to threaten). So I unbuttoned a few of the buttons on my polo turned on my most pathetic and whiny voice and said, "I really want potato chips."

Hubs responded to my declaration, "I can go on a potato chip run." {ain't he the greatest?}

"Are you sure? You don't have to if you don't want to." {lying}

"Honey, I'm sure. What kind - Ruffles, Conn's, or Lay's?" {WOW, this guy is good!}

"Ruffles or Lay's," I responded excitedly.

"Okay, I'll be right back." {we live only a few blocks from a convenience store - it makes for a very convenient nine months}

5 minutes later

Hubs walks in the door, "I hope you like my selection."

He shows me a bag of Wavy Conn's potato chips.

I look at him, I look at the bag, and then I look at him, "I said Ruffles or Lay's."

He looks confused. "I thought you said Conn's."

"No, I hate Conn's." {I really don't care for them - they taste like old socks, whatever that tastes like}

"But, these are from Zanesville. I really thought you said Conn's." {okay, you just heard Conn's because you wanted Conn's. I don't care if you grew up near Zanesville. I'm pregnant, and I WANT RUFFLES OR LAY'S!}

And that's when my hormones exploded. I really tried to suppress them. But they weren't listening to me. It seems that the fig-sized being growing deep within my womb spits out hormones at cosmic force.

And then I throw a fit. You know, the usual girly game of, "No, don't go back out just for chips," "Okay, I really want chips," "No, I'll be fine," "Okay, I want Ruffles, please."

My potato chip runner then leaves for the second time that evening. But this time he's not back right away. It's at least fifteen minutes before he returns. {and don't think for a minute that this hungry preggo wasn't starting to really jones}

As it turns out, the convenient store down the street was out of Ruffles. So my I-better-get-it-right-this-time hubby drove all the way to the next nearest convenient store just to find the perfect potato chip.

He scored. {thank you, Jesus!}

And since he is all about staying out of trouble making me happy, he picked up a bag of Skittles and Sour Patch Kids while he was there.

Except that I was now craving Gummi Bears.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Male Influence

You don't have to be a published psychologist to understand the importance that strong male role models have on a young boy's life.

As we celebrated our country's independence, a blessed day on so many accounts, I was reminded of the incredible men who play a crucial role in my son's life.



Uncle Joe

These three are some of the hardest working, loyal, and humorous men I know. God could not have given my son three more perfect guys to influence his precious life.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Practically Green Vlog: Zwaggle

What you NEED to know about Zwaggle:

Monday, July 6, 2009

Still got it.

Who needs pyrotechnics when you've got the best R&B group of the 90s?

These adorable men graced the stage of our community's annual 4th of July bash.

And, oh my, they've still got it.

How cute are they? And they sing and dance and blow kisses and throw roses and oh dear, I'm warm.

Sing it with me now, "Doom doom doom da da, doom doom doom da da. Da di da di da da, da da, daa daa daa."

I heart you, Boyz II Men.

Friday, July 3, 2009


Last week, at Erin's tie-dying party, we were blessed to have several little ones present. In an effort to keep them entertained, their mommies sardined them inside this baby container.

It wasn't long before one of the older girls wanted to join in the fun.

And more joined.

Even Henry couldn't resist. I mean, those are some cute girls. Can you blame him?