Fortunately, my 20-week ultrasound confirmed that my baby appeared healthy. Unfortunately, my baby's sex could not be confirmed. Because of the baby's position, the o.b. could not get a good look at the baby's anatomy. My o.b. stated that there was something possibly indicating a boy, but it could also have been a toe.
So this past Monday (four weeks after my 20-week ultrasound), my husband and I scooted back into my o.b.'s office with the hopes of finally seeing the baby's bits. And whatdya know? Baby was still hiding! Heck, I'll take modesty when my little one is 15-yrs-old, but now? Now I want this tiny creature to show us its stuff!
And adding to the unknown, this time my o.b. indicated that it might be a girl. Again, the "shot" was skewed, but based on what appeared to be lacking, doc said, "maybe a girl."
I couldn't help but laugh. I must be honest. I was prepared for a boy confirmation. In the past few months, I have repeatedly said, "it'd be a lot cheaper to have a boy; I already have all the stuff," and, "I wouldn't even know what to do with a girl," and, "where would I put a girl in this tiny two-bedroom condo?" So to hear that it very well might be a girl, well, I needed to digest that.
But how soon I was forgetting that sex determination is merely secondary to my baby's health. Of course I'd like to satisfy my desire to plan and prepare. Even the most laid back moms experience some degree of nesting in those final weeks of pregnancy. But as we were walking out of the doc's office, my husband stopped me to give me the most genuine hug, and he told me, "I love you." I think he figured that I would be disappointed and in need of consoling. My pregnancy hormones have been unpredictable and chaotic. To think I might have one of my pregnancy fits wasn't too far of a stretch.
But his earnest hug and kind words gave me such a sense of calm and peace. I was overcome with emotion that my baby is healthy and growing. Does it really matter "what" I am having? If you had asked me only a few days ago, I would have told you ABSOLUTELY - I need to know! But now, I am beyond thrilled to experience an amazing surprise come mid-August.
And strangely, the not-knowing has allowed me to completely relax. Because this is my second child, I have all the baby necessities. And if it's a boy, well, he'll have plenty of fantastic hand-me-downs. And if it's a girl, well, something tells me she won't leave the hospital naked.
I am forever grateful to my good Lord for blessing me with another wonderful pregnancy. I'm now in week 25, and it has been a beautiful experience. Though I often joke about my looming big, fat, pregnant summer, I am so thankful to be carrying a healthy baby, and I look forward to meeting this miracle in a few short months.